An unusual proposal

As studied, non-verbal communication can be communicated through many different channels – facial expressions, actions, behaviours, etc.. Non-verbal communication can be used to repeat, contradict, substitute, complement, accent or regulate verbal communication.

In our modern society, a lot of non-verbal communication is used to put a point across. Some examples of such non-verbal communication includes the twitching of the eyebrows, indicating that we are unsure of the subject matter that is being discussed, or a hand signal to respond to someone far away. Such actions and movements have become a part of our lives that we do not put much thought into these non-verbal cues. Very often, we use non-verbal communication as a form of response to someone to has communicated (usually verbally) to us. For example, when a person asks a question and the respondent nods his head, it clearly shows that the respondent agrees with the person and has no other comments to add. However, there are also times when the person who is sending out the message, decides to send it out non-verbally. The following video is one such example. In the video, we are able to see how non-verbal communication can be used to substitute verbal communication.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mv7NEYKo32E&feature=channel#watch-main-area

As shown in the video, the male lead actor led the female lead actress into the house without saying a word and almost immediately, the music from the handphones began to play. Internationally, the music is associated to wedding because it is typically the song that is used for wedding march-ins. Thus, when the music was played, instantly the viewer would be thinking of a wedding ceremony, and then associate the scene to a proposal script. After the song has ended and the lights are being turned on, friends began shouting “Marry him!” in Mandarin. This further helps complement the non-verbal communication that was previously sent out.

At the same time, paralinguistics is also used to complement the message that has been sent. Instead of using a low pitch, low volume and lethargic tone to encourage the female actress to agree to the proposal, friends used very high pitch, high volume and a tone that is filled with energy to encourage her. The use of such tone clearly shows that they support the marriage and feel that the female should agree to the proposal. At the same time, the use of screams is also a form of vocalic used to break the silence between the couple immediately after the music has ended.

Though short and simple, this video is a good example which showcases how non-verbal communication can not only be used as a channel to respond to someone, but it can also be used as a channel to send out a message to the respondent. It also further reemphasizes that we cannot do without communication. In everything that we do, we are constantly communicating with one another, verbally or non-verbally.

Coco Avant Chanel

The last movie that I watched, which really touched my heart was Coco Avant Chanel. It was a bibliography of the founder of Chanel today, a lady named Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel.
In the movie, Coco is an orphan who was left behind by her father, who never came back for her. She was portrayed as a lady who led a humble life with her sister. It was not stated in any part of the movie that Coco lead a humble life. However, it is shown through the use of nonverbal communication. In the movie, many scenes were cast in their home, which is a little room which looks dark and nostalgic. It is definitely not one of the many houses that the riches used to live in in the past.
Not long later, Coco’s sister managed to find a boy of her dreams and decided to migrate to live with him. This left Coco all alone in the house. During this part of the movie, they portrayed Coco as a lady who has no one to turn to. At the same time, the use of a dark background also brought about the emotion of dull and sadness.
Shortly after, Coco managed to find herself a boyfriend, who often has to entertain his guests. Coco did not like hanging out with his friends and thus often locked herself up in the room. She was often shown to be smoking on the bed. Such scenes instill a feeling of loneliness in viewers. As smoking is often associated to loneliness and curiosity, and since Coco is no longer a young girl who is often curious about new things, we would associate the action to Coco being very lonely. She seldom smiles when she was with her boyfriend. In contrast, when Coco met Arthur, the boy whom she later fell in love with, she began to smile. This showed a big contrast between her feelings for her boyfriend and Arthur.
The use of nonverbal cues in this movie added emotions into the movie. the conversations were short and brief, showing that the casts were reluctant to talk to one another, and yet different emotions can be shown during different times of the show using either the lighting, facial expressions and actions.
The pragmatic approach stated that “it is impossible not to communicate”. This is very true in Coco Avant Chanel. Communication comes in many forms, and in the movie, most of the communication is done through nonverbal communication. Thus, in order for one to understand and feel the way Coco did, the viewer has to be able to catch the nonverbal cues that were shown.

Listen

William Shakespeare once said “Give every man thy ear but few thy voice”. The message that he is trying to put across is to urge people to talk less and to listen more.

Very often than not, we often associate communication to the process of producing words – speaking. However, there is also another part which is associated to communication, which is listening. Listening is actually the most important part in communication, besides speaking, because without listening, there is no interaction between the two communicators. This will cause our communication model, which is the Transactional model, to fall apart and to give rise to the Linear Model.

Listening is important because it allows the listener to receive the message from the sender, decode the message and then communicate his/her points of views back. The exchange is thus called communication. Without listening, communication then becomes a one-way communication. As there would not be any feedback, there would also not be any exchange in views and opinions of a certain subject matter.

One must not confuse listening with hearing. The definition of listening is “to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear”, which in simple words is to give attention. On the other hand, the definition of hearing is “to perceive by the ear”. One has to be attentive to the message that is sent to him/her before he/she can understand what the sender is saying and to provide meaningful feedback on the message that has just been sent. If the listener is just hearing the message and not listening, the message would not be processed and some intended messages that are meant to be sent across would be lost.

Ernest Hemingway says that “most people never listen”. This is very true. Every often, people listen to messages, but do not listen. They are willing to listen to the message that is being sent, but are not able to process the message. This often results in miscommunication, or having the sender to repeat what he/she had just said. Thus, it is important to be a good listener, to be able to pay attention that is being sent across and to provide meaningful feedback. Only this way, would we be able to communicate well.